Reblogged from hotandbeautiful
~.Soul Searcher.~
Only you can find yourself. I found myself hidden in a mound of music and photography. <3
watching thinspiration and pacing from the kitchen to the bathroom…. I need to stop eating, but it’s so hard….
First rave last night. All I can say is that even sober it was beautiful o.o
The destination of this photo is one thing but the story behind it will take you to wonderland ♥ (: I took this photo at 12AM with Abbie && Phil! We were just
rollingdown the streets of Seattle :D
Age: 16
Height: 5’7
Weight: 143 pounds
Favorite Diet Food: bananas
Favorite Binge food: ANYTHING chocolate
Favorite exercise: eliptical or treadmill
Does anyone know? 2 friends
What makes you slip? lack of self control
What makes you strong? when I exercise
When did it start? seventh grade
What do you see when you look in the mirror? fat. fat. fat. and more fat.
Is it for attention? God no.
Are you depressed? not anymore
Ever tried to commit suicide? a few times
Ever cut yourself? plenty of times
Ever been to a psychologist? yes
Lost weight: down 7lbs from 150(:
Do you drink? yes
Do you smoke? yes
Do you take drugs? sometimes
Does your weight affect your mood? only when I let it
Do you weigh yourself daily? no, I don’t have a scale at mom’s
Have you ever fasted? no
Have you ever skipped a meal? yes
CURRENTLY:
[x] anorexic
[] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off laxative/diet pills
[x]hungry
[x] thirsty
[ ] Under 100lbs
[] fasting/starving myself
PEOPLE:
[] have asked if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[x] have called me fat
[x] have said I’m skinny
[] have said I’m ugly
[x] have said I’m pretty
[x] spread rumors about me
[x] forced me to eat
[x] say I eat too much
[x ] wish I’d eat more
I WISH:
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn’t have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[x] I was under 100 lbs
If you didn’t check the above, what is your weight?
[x] I could avoid food
[] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
I LOVE:
[] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[] shaking
[x] feeling airy
[x] losing weight
[x] being anorexic/bulimic
[x] coffee
[x] green tea
[] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself
APPEARANCE:
[ ] I am shorter than 5’4
[] I think I’m ugly
[x] I have scars
[x] I wish my hair was a different colour
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
[] I have a tattoo
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance
[] I have/had braces
[x] I wear glasses/contacts
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger
[x] I have more than 2 piercings
[] I have piercings in places besides my ears
[ ] I have freckles
FAMILY:
[x] I’ve sworn at my parents
[x ] I’ve run away from home
[ x] I’ve been kicked out of the house
[ ] My biological parents are together
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old
[x ] I want to have kids someday
[ ] I’ve had children
[ ] I’ve lost a child/baby
[ ] I can’t have children
RELATIONSHIPS:
[] I’m single
[x ] I’m in a relationship
[ ] I’m engaged
[ ] I’m married
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date
[ ] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper
[x] I miss someone right now
[x] I have a fear of abandonment
[x ] I’ve cheated in a relationship
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced
[x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
[x] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t
[x ] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did
[x] I’ve kept something from a past relationship
[x] I’ve been ‘the other woman’
SEXUALITY:
[x] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] I’ve had a crush on a teacher
[x] I am a cuddler
[ x] I’ve kissed in the rain
[x] I’ve hugged a stranger
[x ] I have kissed a stranger
BAD TIMES:
[x] I’ve consumed alcohol
[] I regularly drink
[ ] I can’t swallow pills
[] I can swallow numerous pills at a time without water
[] I have been diagnosed with depression
[x] I shut others out when I’m upset
[] I take anti-depressants
[x] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS
[] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it
[x] I’ve hurt myself on purpose
[x ] I’ve woken up crying
[x] I’ve fallen asleep crying
[x] I’ve lost weight
[x] I’ve gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me
[ ] I’m at my thinnest
[] I’m at my biggest
[] I’ve lost weight and kept it off
[] I’ve lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[ ] I weigh myself daily
[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[ ] I hate compliments
[x] I want to tell people to “stop lying” when they compliment me
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[] I feel happy when I’m hungry
[x] I get depressed after I eat
[x] I’ve skipped a meal
[x] I’ve thrown food away
[x] I’ve spit food out
[] I’ve fasted
[]I’ve taken diet pills
[] I’ve used laxatives
[] I’ve purged
[x] I exercise
[x] I exercise so I can eat
[ ] I work out secretly
[ ] I work out daily
[ ] I’ve fainted from exhaustion
I’VE DONE:
[x] Weed
[x] Cigarettes
[x] Alcohol
[] Caffeine pills
[] Diet pills
[x] Pain killers
[x] Sleeping pills
[x] Anti-depressants
[] Mood stabilizers
[ ] Anti-psychotics
[] Benzos
[x ] Ecstasy
[ ] LSD
[ ] Mushrooms
[ ] Speed
[ ] Cocaine
[] Other
HABITS:
[x ] I keep my eating habits a secret
[x] I look at thinspo
[x] I count calories
[] I’ve had negative intake days
[x] I avoid food
[ ] I hate food
[x] I love food
[x] I want to be this way
[] I don’t want to be like this
[x] I wish I could have more control
[x] losing weight is my top priority
[ ] I am in treatment
[x] I’m doing this for me
[x ] I’m doing this for someone
[x] I’m doing this to prove myself
